Wednesday Morning

Good morning all! First to JC, glad to have you back! I hope your trip was a good one!
Ho Ho's is like a Devil Dog with a chocolate cover. Not as good a Mallomars or Milano's. I love Susie Q's, but they stopped making them.
I have been asked how do I stay so positive? Well.... I don't really don't have a choice! I am very lucky to have a wife who is willing to overlook all my faults and stay with me through this. Second is my resolve never to give up. I have seen many people who have given up and there sickness just overtakes them. Third is all of you! You have given me so much hope and positive posts that it is easy to wake up and feel good!
Today is a good day. I normally watch MSNBC, but made a promise to myself to keep the news off until all this bashing between the candidates are over. It's just too negative. I rather watch Ninja Warrior. My dogs are on top of me for there morning treats, so I'll go take care of them now. Have a blessed day all! Peace and Love! Mark

Wednesday Morning

In case Craig sees this post, I love Hawaiian Coffee! Kona... whole bean. : )
I feel good today. A friend gave my wife a bottle of Tequila from her Mexico trip. We thank her!
I am trying to get out of my funk. You can't build on negative thoughts. So, I got one of my funny cigarettes and put on my "Essential" Lynyrd Skynyrd CD (volume on 10). I feel much better now. I think I'm going to make a 6 egg cheese omelet with a side of Ho-Ho's. Honey if your reading this, we are now out of eggs.
Cheech and Chong are getting back together! I hope they don't make another Corsican Brothers movie.
One last thing. A great sight if you like FREE movies: quicksilverscreen.com I saw Batman and Handcock the other day. Pretty cool. I thought about watching Mama Mia, but came to my senses in time.
Peace and Love to all! Mark

Tuesday Evening

Shhh - Mark is napping. He really wants to watch the show about Randy Pausch tonight, so he's taking a nap now. This means a great deal to him. Craig - we are so waiting to hear all about Hawaii (you lucky devil). Have a bite of pinapple for us both. Nancy, we worry about you and Mark asks me every day how you're doing. Mike, Carol and all our other friends - you have come to mean a great deal. I talked about fear the other night. I think I need to focus on strength. That brick wall bashing does build emotional muscle. Ha - that's the only muscle I can hope for. But seriously, I have been really focusing on mental and emotional exercise to make myself stronger for the challenges ahead. I want to go into this as well equipped as I can. So, I'll be reading and meditating a lot. Any and all suggestions for reading material well be greatly welcomed. Carol has made a couple of excellent suggestions. I'm open to all. I love you guys. NEVER GIVE UP!

Monday Morning

Morning! If I may, there will be a program on tomorrow night on Randy Pausch Tuesday Night called "The Last Lecture'. I can't tell you how incredible this guy was in his lifetime. How he faced death and cancer is amazing. I hope you all watch it.
I must admit, I have been feeling sorry for myself lately. With the loss of another friend and Randy Pausch, it really blew me away this week. Looking down the road is not easy and very hard to stay positive. I try hard and read so many blogs over and over again for strength. I prey you all know how important you all are to me. Your support helps me everyday!
May the Lord love you all! Peace and Much Love! Mark

Sunday Morning

Hi everybody. I had a good day yesterday but fell asleep early after watching the Yankees crush the Red Sox. Woo hoo! Today is a nice quite Sunday. Just watching the talking heads and trying to digest all the spin. Still sad and down about the loss of Jim, but realize he is free from the suffering now. Love and Peace to everybody. NEVER GIVE UP!

Friday Evening Rambling

Mark is always encouraging me to come on here and really let myself express what's inside. I guess that is tonight. I go through every day really rather numb. I am afraid to let anything penetrate the hard shell I have up, because I feel responsible for keeping everything going with no big road blocks. I heard a report tonight on NPR about the professor at the Pittsburgh university that wrote the book called "The Last Lecture" (I think that's it - I apologize if I have it wrong). He was diagnosed with cancer and gave a speech to his class that was later expanded into a book. He refused to discuss his cancer but instead, used the lecture to talk about life and how he learned from all his experiences. His hope was that those who read it or listen would do an inspection of their own lives and perhaps see things that they were grateful for or could change while they still had time. He used many examples. One was about the brick wall. He said that we weren't presented with brick walls to stop us. We were presented with brick walls to test just how badly we wanted to knock them down. Those who were stopped by brick walls didn't really want to defeat them very badly at all. I have a giant brick wall all around me. I keep bumping my forehead against. I can't yet see how do take out the bricks. I don't want to lose my husband. I don't want to keep having birthdays and getting older, because through his having to face his mortality, I am having to face mine. I am afraid. No, I don't think I'm afraid to be alone. I've been there. It's not a great place, but you find that you are much stronger than you think. I'm not afraid that I'll have no one to love me. I know better. I have a beautiful family and God has blessed me with a plethora of wonderful friends. I guess I am afraid I won't be needed anymore and that scares me. I have been fulfilled by being needed and I feel like I won't know what to do with myself.
Okay - that's enough. I almost hope you don't read all the way through this - but it was theraputic to actually write it all down. Maybe Mark was right. I guess I needed it.
He's watching TV- he's had a headache all day and I think he's having more vision problems than he really will admit to me. It's hard now for him to write on here, because I don't think he sees very well. He says he guesses he'll make "guest" appearance on occasion, even though this is his blog. Keep sending your prayers heavenward and keep your good thoughts flowing towards us. We can't have enough!

Friday Morning

Yesterday was a bit of a down day for us here. Mark is depressed by Jim's passing and I think he is internalizing his mortality. He really didn't want to discuss it much, but he was awfully quiet and seemed very sad. We both were exhausted and went to bed very early for us. Today will be a much better day. This has caused us both to contemplate just how valuable friendship is and once again, realize that all to often you take way to much for granted. To our friends - we love you dearly. Today, this morning, the sun is shining brightly and this WILL BE A GREAT DAY.