Saturday Afternoon

Going through a really rough patch here. No energy. Been sleeping a lot. Trying to eat but not even doing that too well. Wanted to try a video this weekend, but probably won't get that done just yet. Hanging in there - that's about all I can say for this time around. Peace!

Thursday Night

I'm writing for Mark tonight. The past two days have been a little much for him. This round of chemo had more drugs than last, and the violent hiccups are here with a vengence. I stopped at the doctor's office this morning on my way to work and was assured by the nurse there that a Rx would be called in for him that would take care of the problem. Needless to say, it WASN'T. So we have another night of no sleeping because the hiccups are so bad. When we go tomorrow to have the pump removed, they're going to get a piece of my mind, although I don't have a lot to spare these days. The good news from this last visit with the doctor is that there has been no significant weight loss. For that, we are thankful.
There's a brush fire about two miles from our house here in Golden Gate Estates. We can see and smell the smoke. We're watching the news to make sure there's no shift in direction. Just what we would need - evacuate with Mark and the pump, three dogs, one cat and a crazy woman!
Love and Peace to you all! Rebecca

Tuesday Evening

Whew - what a day. Got there at 8:30 this a.m. Got home at 4:15 p.m. Two nurses short and everything took lots longer than usual. Gonna try to eat something tonight. I'm really tired but I don't want to go to sleep to early. Got my pump hooked back up. Doesn't make sleeping easy. Peace, everybody!

Memorial Day

Nice, quiet day. I'm a little down - chemo starts again tomorrow. Had something special for dinner while I can still eat pretty well. Lamb chops. Rebecca turned her nose up but she did know how to make them delicious. Watched my Yankee game. Don't ask about the score. Might not feel like entering anything for a day or two, but will get back here as soon as I can. Let everybody know how this round is going. Peace!

Sunday Afternoon

Having a good day. Yankees won and I have no hair left to worry about. Still trying to hold down food. Today, we told my Mom about my condition. She took it well (well enough). It was a very hard phone call. Peace Mark

Saturday Afternoon

My hair is falling out again. Today my Brother tells my Parents in New York about my illness. I'm glad I'm 1,500 miles away. Both my parents are sick and I didn't want to tell them until everything was known for fact. Going to try and eat, although I lost 20 pounds in 10 days. Nancy is jelious, I know : ) Happy Holidays everyone. Peace and Love to all Mark

Friday Night!

Took a day off yesterday. Just didn't feel up to it. Today, I went back to the doctor to get the "all clear" to have another round of chemo next week. He gave me thumbs up. He's adding a new medication - Erbitux - some kind of anti-body. Said there is no problem with my high hemoglobin count, so not to worry. The new medicine will probably give me a rash. Oh, the joy of chemotherapy. Am going to try adding a video on here this weekend. James graciously took the time to teach Rebecca and I how to do it. He's a pretty amazing guy, that James. Well, peace, love and NEVER GIVE UP!

A Lousy Day

OK, I’m having a lousy day. I know, I’m supposed to stay positive and “keep good thoughts.” This is a time for "reflection, contemplation and understanding". To acknowledge the complexity of Life, and the simplicity of Death. To see the beauty in all things around me. Well, it’s hard when inside your brain is being eaten away and all you want to do is scream out: “What the FUCK! I’m dying here!” I want to scream out, like a man on fire. Am I supposed to just stay calm and die? This second is gone for me! This hour, this day is over for me. One more down, not many more to go. Who am I blogging to? Where is everybody? AH! Living!!!!!
And there it is. The Ants on the Anthill are working. The looks I get sometimes. Whispers. "He's dying you know." Like it's something that is not going to happen to them. HA! I'm just going first. Do you want to jump ahead in this line? Go right ahead.

Tuesday Afternoon

Headaches today are worst then ever. Having trouble eating and sleeping. Hands hurt.
I feel very tired and need to lie down for awhile. I am very upset after hearing about Sen. Kennedy. Peace Mark

Monday Morning

Having a good morning. Nancy was our guest last night and it was a pleasure to see her again. Nancy is a Fire Fighter with the Forestry Department and we are all very proud of her. Headaches today are less and I hope to hold down some food today. Never Give Up! Peace Mark

Saturday Evening

Had a really nice visit with my cousin and his wife today, but got very weak and nauseous this evening. Haven't been able to eat much today. Having an instant breakfast shake before I go to bed. My hand and feet are very painful today. Don't know why. Can't write much but wanted to put something here. Love and Peace to all.

Blessed are the Children

Dear, sweet Monica. You must forgive Mark if he is emotional about all this and responds with grave concern. His love for this family is without boundaries, and he was so very worried that perhaps his illness was causing Becca to be upset. I am writing tonight because he sometimes has trouble now concentrating and he so wants to make sure his love and concern are expressed as he would if he could. He is very thankful for Becca to have such an enlightened mother. You are right, of course. It is so much better that children learn very young about the exquisite gift that is life. Give Becca a hug from both of us. I hope to spend some time with her when she's here this time. I love that child so much. Mark's gift to the world is compassion and love, even in his gruffest moments, and concern for the wellbeing of the ones he loves. Thanks for being there for us.

Rebecca

Thank You Joan!

Joan, I just read your E-mail and can't thank you enough. It was a beautiful letter and I hope somehow it works. Your in my thoughts and prayers. Mark

Thursday Afternoon

Monica, I would never do this blog if I thought for one moment it would upset Little Becka. I am heartbroken that she is upset. I know she is coming down next week and I will stay away. Rebecca will talk to her for me. You know I love her very much and would never do anything to ever hurt her.

Thursday 3:00 AM

Many nights I can't sleep. I look over at Rebecca and worry about tomorrow and what's going to happen to her. She has a great boss in Dale and I'm confident in his words to me to watch over her. James, Will, Craig are all there for her also, but I still worry. Joan, thanks for writing in. I know you can relate to how I feel. I feel better tonight and waiting for the sun to jump into my heated spa. Hoping it will take away some pain in my legs and arms. Peace and Love to all! Never Give Up! Mark

Wednesday

This is my dog Harry. He too has cancer and had a 15 pound tumor removed from his spleen.

Feeling pretty good today. Thanks for writing Nancy!

Hi everyone. I have created a monster in Nancy. Good to talk to you today. Hope to see you soon. Still have trouble eating, but feel pretty good today.

Tuesday Evening

I am writing for Mark this evening. He really had a hard day. The weather is so hot and muggy. With no strength to start with, Mark is incredibly weak, tired and has a bad headache. He had a lot of nausea today and has not been able to eat. He asked me to post for him because he wants to have a daily diary. He's sleeping now and I pray for a peaceful night without his waking up to be sick. I'm sure he'll be better tomorrow and he'll write for himself. Love to all - Rebecca

Monday

Although I had to get a shot for my White Blood Count to stay up, I had a good day today. I now take Prochlorper (10MG) for my nausea and vomiting. Special thanks to James, Nancy and Monica for there earlier posts. It means a lot. Have a good evening everyone!

Mother's Day!

Having a good day today with my wife, Rebecca. I go tomorrow morning to see the doctor to get a shot to keep my white blood cells up. Peace and Love!