Today, January 21st, is Mark's birthday. Today, he would be 61. Man, he really hated getting older. I think he wore his "old hippie" days as his badge, and it made him feel really old when they talked about how long ago Woodstock was. But, the lucky devil had very little gray hair. When I would point that out, he would do the imaginary surfer-dude head wave and "swish" back his hair. He could always make me laugh.
I spoke last night with his mother. She is weathering this with quite a bit of grace. At the same time Mark was being taken to Hospice that last week, Mark's father was taken to the hospital and given a very small chance to survive more than a few days. His dad is 93. His mom is 83. Dad has rebounded, and is now resting comfortably in the hospital's on-site nursing facility. All of this has really been an ordeal for his mother. She has not been alone for the sixty years of her marriage. She is now all alone in her little house, snowed and iced in. But she is resilient and optimistic. She knows that his dad won't be coming home, but she's also thankful for the care he is receiving that she was no longer able to give him by herself.
She told me last night that today, Mark's birthday, she was not going allow herself to think of his being gone. She was going to celebrate the sixty years she had her son. That helped me today, because I too celebrated. I am grateful I had eight years with Mark. We had some tough times, but he made a determined effort to always make sure I laughed. He was a huge softie and "leaked" at the chick flicks we watched together, but denied it loudly if I pointed it out. He was a huge teddy bear. He'd be furious if he knew I was telling you this. He never wanted anyone to know that under his gruff exterior, there was gold and marshmallows. I am a lucky woman to have found and had the love of this man. I wanted to share my birthday memories with all of you.
The book idea will be slow going. The website I am using is experiencing some problems transferring the materials over, but they tell their users they are working on the problem and that a patch will be available soon to make the transition much easier. It is giving me time to work on scanning and adding some pictures so that when the book is made, it will have more and more memories. I'll keep you all posted! Good night all - My love to each of you!
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8 comments:
Happy Birthday to Mark, the woman that brought him into the world, and the woman that stood by him as he exited...it is obvious what a blessing this man was. Being thankful for your shared time is such an incredibly healthy thing.
Blessings.
Gold and marshmallows! Ha, that's perfect. He would never have admitted it, though.
Thanks for giving me more insight into Mark. He definitely leaked his "softiness" on his blog. And it was beautiful.
Your mother-in-law sounds like a very strong woman. I guess Mark knew, through her example, that he wanted strength in a woman and that's how he came to choose you.
Hugs to you, Rebecca.
Gold and marshmallows. What a terrific expression.
And we all could see those qualities shine through in Mark's writing. We let him have his gruff illusion, but we could tell what a softy he was.
Take care and be well.
hi rebecca its been a while that i stopped in to say hi to you,but i know you have been keeping busy. my new plans now i may move to nc in the next few months time to move with the kids as were getting to old to stay alone . ill keep you posted,
love bev
Good to see this post. Thanks for sharing your thoughts of Mark. Gold and marshmallows how wonderful.
My heart breaks for Mark's mother. Why I had never thought about her outliving her child I have no idea. Bless her heart she has been through a lot.
You sound really good though. There is strength there. Hurt too of course but a beautiful quiet strength. I praise God for it.
Best of luck with the book. I'll be interested to hear how things are going.
Just a quick hello to let you know I'm thinking about you Rebecca.
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