Friday, December 19, 2008
Friday Night
I am having a very rough night. My emotions have spilled over and I can't seem to stop crying. Friday nights were our special night of the week. I always got a call about 3:00 p.m., so we could decide what special thing I would bring home for dinner. Even when Mark was only doing Boost, we planned Friday nights and he would at least try to eat something. Tonight, I dragged myself home and just sat in the chair. I know I could pick up the phone and call a lot of different people. They would be here in a flash. But, I just can't do that. I am not sure how to handle this profound sense of loss tonight. It's therapeutic for me just to write this down and go back and read it. I know you will all understand. Mark was my best friend. We understood each other very well, and he always knew just what to say. He'd make his "little boy" face, make me smile and give me a hug. I miss him. I am having a great deal of trouble envisioning all the Friday nights to come. I know I'll learn to handle it, but right now, I am overwhelmed. My poor doggies aren't quite sure what to do. I have had many dog kisses tonight. They are trying to console me. So, I'm gonna give them all a special hug and a couple of extra cookies. They make me smile through the tears. Sorry if I am rambling, but working through this in this way will help me. My love to you all - tomorrow will be better. I am going to shop for a few warm clothes - I am going to Utah to see my granddaughter for Christmas. My gift from my sons and Becca is the trip to be with her. I'll let you all know how this almost Florida native does in the frigid weather. Hugs!
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13 comments:
God Bless and comfort you my dear. So happy that it gives you some measure of relief to write your feelings and emotions down...I for one, have also found blogging to be very therapeutic,
Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you.
I know that being with your grandaughter this Christmas will provide some comfort.
God Bless and be with you. I look forward to reading your post.
Blessings, peace, all good,
MeMaw
Rebecca,
Owie heart.
I"m catching your tears as they freely fall, knowing that it's good they are falling, and knowing that your beautiful love and humanity are how they came to be.
How sweet that your sons and daughter are giving you a trip to Utah. I wish that you had a lay-over in Denver. I'd do my best to get to meet you.
Much love, much peace & healing.
It's good to know that you'll be with family during the holiday.
Take care.
Rebecca,
One word: POLARTEC. Seriously.
And what you're feeling is normal and natural. And it's a good thing, believe it or not. You hurt because you were lucky enough to have a good person in your life, and you know what you're missing. If you had never known Mark, today would just have been another ordinary Friday. It's no comfort, I know.
We'll be back tomorrow, and I'll see you before you leave.
Rebecca, Big hugs and then some more big hugs.
-Amandalynn
Rebecca,Big time hugs.maybe the best thing to do is not think about the fridays to come,just take each friday one at a time.I feel your pain.Losing a parent is had to take loseing the other half is devestating. My Mom never got over loseing my Dad.
Know this there are a lot of us out here that are glad to lend a sholder to you in your grief. As I have heard many time a problem shared is one that is cut in half.
God grant you peace and confort you.
After a computer crash and otehr things I was just able to catch up with my blog reading, I am so sorry..your journey may be a roller coaster, but it is a journey, things will change. May I introduce a blog writer to you, http://lazydranch8.blogspot.com/, she lost her husband last January, so not quite a year yet. It was unexpected and she has 6 kids, but her writing is honest to the journey.
Blessings to you, your family, and your poor sad doggies too.
Thinking of you :)
May God wrap His arms around you and give you comfort and peace!
Enjoy Utah.
HUGS
Just know that you are in our prayers and thoughts throught this emotional journey. It is a process and it will take time, I am sure. But, hugs and more hugs coming your way. May god bless you and hold you dear to his heart while you take this journey.
Dear Rebecca,
I haven't been on the comuter and just got the news. I am SO sorry!! I am crying as I writ this, not only for Mark, but for you, knowing how hard it is to lose someone you love. I only can't imagine what it's like to lose your best friend and husband.
Take each moment as it comes and I know you will be okay. I am here whenever you need me. I was planning on coming by this coming weekend to see you and Mark.
Call me on Friday if you can. and if not, I will be saying a prayer for you at 3 that God give you strength.
I agree with the healing of letting your emotions out through the blogging. You are an inspiratioon to others in what you are dealing with.
You are my friend always and I love you and am with you in heart, spirit, and prayer.
Keep going, keep God, and NEVER GIVE UP!!!
Love,
Joan
dear friend.
words can only make things a little easy to kmow friends care.but its you that has to face the long days alone.god will see you thru these times.i dred the day when i mite have to face this. you are stromg and knowing mark is at peace and no more pain will help you .love to you and his fsmily at these hard times to come .
love ya bev
Rebecca,
You might be with your granddaughter by now. I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you this holiday time. Warm thoughts coming your way...
Love and hugs,
Carol
First of all, I am sorry that I haven't been by in a while.
I am glad that you are putting your feelings and your struggles on you blog. I can't imagine how hard it has been for you to carry on after losing Mark. How blessed you were that in your time together that he was your best friend. Not everyone can say that of their spouse.
I will say a prayer for you tonight. Going to read your other posts now.
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