Tuesday

Morning all. Thank you all for caring so much about Rebecca. She is feeling better, thank you all.
Rebecca and I had a long talk and came to realize that we have few things left that can be taken away from us if the economy tanks. We feel bad for all the people who lost there 401K's yesterday. They should take Wall Street and tar and feather them all! To expect The hard working people to cover there butts is sickening.
I guess my mind is made up and I will vote for Obama. McCain keeps talking about "country first" and to pick someone like Sara Palin shows his true colors.
Peace and Love to all
Mark

Monday Morning

Good morning all. Rebecca is feeling better. Now if she can tell me how she changed all my settings and switched to MSN instead of Yahoo, I would appreciate it. OK honey?
It was nice seeing Steve yesterday. We fight all the time. He's a staunch Republican and I'm an Independent. I love him anyway.
We contacted a funeral home and we are taking care of final preparations. Rebecca has a hard time talking about it, but I need to now before I go further south in my pain, etc. It is not easy, but must be done while I still have all my faculties about me.
Have a great day everyone!
Peace and Love to all! Mark

Sunday

Morning all. Rebecca is sick. She hurled all morning and is pretty much out of it today. Time for me to take care of her! James is going to Egypt, so we got his dog Honey. Another Golden Retriever who loves to shed. Welcome!
My cousin Steve is coming over this afternoon. He's family, so Rebecca will tolerate him. I have had massive headaches and will do the same.
Nothing new to report. Just a nice slow Sunday Morning.
Peace be with you all. Mark

Saturday

Good morning! Today I have a favor to ask. I have a friend who writes here a lot named Craig.
Besides being my friend, he is also my Son-In-Law. His Dad Arthur just found out he has real bad lung cancer. He is in the hospital getting chemo on a 24/7 watch. It would do my heart good if you could direct your prayers to Art today. Thanks.
Paul Newman is gone today from cancer. Thanks Paul. You were great.
The above news knocked the wind out of me today. I am going to lie down and take it easy. Peace and Love Mark

TGIF

Morning all. I would have written earlier but I thought Pres. Bush would have something profound to say about the crisis. Once again, I was wrong. I hate to rant: but I lost my house, my stocks (Enron), my money.. due to cancer, and I'm supposed to PAY for some rich guy to get richer!???? I have been sucked dry, now they want to pick at my bones. How stupid we have all become!
Sorry. I am just outraged. Political games are like a soap opera.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Peace and Love Mark

Thursday

Morning! What nice blogs I had today! Thank you Alison, Travis and Carol!
Alison, please be careful! That Nor-Easter is coming your way! You're in my prayers!
It was a cool night, and we opened up the house and found the breeze a nice change after the hot summer. We are going into cooler nights soon.
My cousin Steve is coming for Thanksgiving. He and his wife Leah live in Miami. She is from Brazil and is an outrageous cook! Steve makes the best collard greens I ever had! So, Thanksgiving is something I am looking forward to.
Today I'm just going to chill out and stay mellow. I am listening to The Eagles as I write this.
Have a great day all! Much Peace and Love to all! Mark

Wednesday

Good morning all! I'm back and feeling about 70% today. Kevin, I'm sorry your not very happy in Spain! James will be there soon and the two of you will be off to Egypt. You are in our thoughts and prayers always!
I have been down on myself as of late. I shouldn't blame everything on myself. I must play the cards handed me and do the best I can with them! The one constant I have are my blogging friends. You all give me so much strength! Thank you so very much for that.
Today I have my nurse coming. Also my social worker. Rebecca is worried about me, but these things are going to happen. She just worries so!
Peace and Love to all! Mark

Tuesday Evening

Hi all. I came home tonight to find that Mark hasn't been out of bed today, and he hasn't eaten today. I think the depression is reaching a critical stage. I asked him if I should call the nurse, and he assures me that he will ok. The good news is, the nurse comes in tomorrow anyway for her weekly check. He's up now but only wants an Ensure - no food. I am truly worried but will have to take him at his word that he is coming around. I have asked him to have the nurse call me after she is here tomorrow. I want her take on this. My love and thanks to all of you. NEVER GIVE UP!

Good Morning All

I wanted to take a minute to send a shout out to Kevin in Spain. Hey, kidd0 - I'm sorry you've not been feeling well and that Spain isn't exactly the romantic destination we all imagine it to be. Brown, eh? Yuck. But, your side trips are enviable. Mark is touched, first that you read his blog, and second that you liked his quirky quote. Nope - there is no real definition of normal - it's a state of mind. So, before you cycle to fluff only, check your dryer setting. We love you. You are one special young man.

Mark's depression seems to be a little deeper because of the turn of events. I know, however, that he will pull out of it, because NEVER GIVE UP is not just a trendy slogan - it's his mantra. So everybody hang with us. We'll keep plugging along.

Love and Peace to you all!

Update....Monday

My blood tests came back and I was pulled off all programs. The Doctor did tell us the cancer may spread into my spinal column around my neck. I guess that had something to do with it. Very tired and upset. More later...
Peace and Love Mark

Late, Late Sunday Night

Ooops - I blew it. I turned off the Dolphin game too soon - they pulled off the miracle. Mark is cheering a Miami upset win over New England! Great day for Dolphin fans! Now, my Jets can do the same thing Monday night! NEVER GIVE UP!

Lazy Sunday Afternoon

Mark is resting today. He has quite the headache and his Dolphins are losing big time. He wanted me to say hello for him and to tell all of you that he is ok, just taking it easy today. We treasure the comments you all make. He will up-date you during the week while things go on. Take care and remember we love you all. NEVER GIVE UP!

Saturday

Morning all! Carol, Travis, JC, Jen, Alison and Dennis! Thanks for your support! I will keep you informed as to the outcome. Rebecca is sleeping. She took one of my pills last night and is out cold! Lord knows she needs the sleep. I'm ready for Monday and know I'm not alone. You guys have been so great! It means alot to us. Today is football . I hope all will enjoy the weekend!
Peace and Love Mark

TGIF

Good morning all. I have been contacted to join a new study on chemo. No promises. There is a risk, but I am willing to take any. If it can help someone a year from now to beat this disease, I'm all for it! I'm going in cold and blind to the pitfalls, but I trust the people around me. My fear is gone. I'm ready to look straight ahead and put my faith in others. Either I or Rebecca will keep you informed. Peace and Love to all! Mark

Thursday

Morning all! Well, my neighbor is out on $5,000 bond, lowered from $35,000. We had a Bar-B-Q for him last night. It was one of these bring what you want to eat/drink things. About 20 people showed up and a good time was had by all! Carol, I spent a year in Arvada, I know how Colorado is with herb. Florida is still living in the 1800's. I will keep you informed of what happens.
A small rant: In Michigan, the Republican Party is putting together a list of everyone who's home went into foreclosure. WHY? That person will not be able to vote. The person no longer lives in that area! Unreal.
I feel pretty good today. A slight headache from last night, but I'm smiling.
Peace and Love to all! Mark

Wednesday

Morning everyone. A weird day. It's not even 9 AM and the cops just left! My neighbor, 65, got busted for growing marijuana in his home. It seems my name was on a list he had of his clients. So, the detectives wanted answers as to why my name was on the list. Da!!!! I told them to speak to my lawyer. The poor guy was just trying to make some money! He was selling only to cancer patients who needed it like me! If the government legalized pot and taxed it, the national debt would be paid in a week! So, today a bunch of us will bond him out. He's a good man trying to get buy in a lousy economy. Rebecca has a friend married to a good bondsman. I have to go down to the court in 1 hour to meet with him. At least my blood is moving today!
Have a blessed day! Peace and Love to all
Mark

Tuesday

Morning all! I'm feeling good today. Rebecca needs a good nights sleep, but she is doing OK. I had some breakfast this morning, bacon and eggs, which for me is a feast. I try and eat in the early mornings, because as the day goes on my appetite goes away. My headaches are about the same. When they come it is a jolt. They come fast and unexpectedly. Walking has become harder and so has typing. I have no feeling in my hands or legs. Many times I write with a pencil in either hand to hit the keys right. It takes longer, but gets the job done!
I promised Rebecca I would not watch any political coverage on TV. It upsets me too much. I'll watch the OJ trial. That's always good for a laugh. I have a bunch of books on audio CD's that I have been "reading" lately. I have 2 Robert Ludlum books. "The Janson Directive" and "The Hades Factor." That should keep me busy.
My best to everyone and I hope all have a blessed day!
Peace and Love
Mark

Monday

Good morning all! Hope you all had a good weekend.I keep getting these headaches that just shut me down. I try my best to fight them, but they are too strong.
Today is the start of the OJ Simpson trail. There are few people who I hate more than this guy. His smug arrogance is just infuriating. A man that murders, Dante says, goes to hell and is boiled in blood for all eternity. Have a nice trip OJ!
I guess I get myself involved in things that upset me. It is hard not to when you see the sky is falling and our candidates are talking about lipstick instead of anything important. It just shows how little they care about the common folk. Every 4 years they show concern, every 4 years they lie to us. I don't wish to rock the boat. I want to sink it.
My dog Harry is doing well. Unreal! This dog should be down by now and he is acting like a puppy. Thank the lord for giving him more time with me. I cherish each day!
Football is here! Denver looked incredible (and lucky), so did Buffalo of all teams! Colts pull one out and the Jets lost. Sorry Rebecca.
Have a blessed day! Peace and Love to all
Mark

Sunday Morning

Good Morning Everybody. Mark is having a down day today. I think he'll spend a lot of time in bed today. He says he is having "lightening bolt" headaches. So, I think staying quiet and just staying away from the political pundits on the talk shows would be a good idea. Right now, he's watching Ninja Warrior - much better choice. We were to have had a visit from cousin Steve today, but I nixed that, what with the episode from Thursday and the transition time for the new med regime. Next week will be better. We heard from our friend, Judy, who lives in the Houston area. She's fine. Her son's house will probably be without power for a while, but all in all, they came through IKE fine. Thank God. Everybody have a great rest of the weekend. We send peace and love to you all. NEVER GIVE UP!

Saturday

Good morning all! I'm feeling good today! Hi JC! Joan! Jen! Nice to hear from you! Rebecca is getting ready to go shopping with Nancy. Hopefully she will remember to bring me back a pastrami on rye with a big kosher pickle. One of the many things I miss about New York. The best food in the world! You name it, they got it.
Ohio vs USC tonight! I'm taking USC. My Mom called this morning. I told her I was sleeping and hung up. Thank goodness she knows less than McCain about computers.
My Brother told me he saw The Eagles in concert in New York. He said they were amazing. I guess I'm in a New York state of mind today. I'll put on some Billy Joel, light up the old bong and mellow out today.
I hope everyone has a blessed weekend!
Peace and Love!
Mark

TGIF

Hi all! It has been a rough few days for me. I try very hard not to think about my condition. Just live life! Every now and then, you get a wake up call. This wake up call wasn't pretty. It's like holding onto a wet rope. You try so very hard to climb up, but your hands keep slipping down. My poor Rebecca has to put up with all of this. I feel so bad for her.
Simply, I am starting to have seizures. The Hospice doubled my morphine intake each day and hopes that will slow it down. The pain is indescribable. The hard part is I have seen this with my friends who have passed. I know whats coming.
I make this pledge to all of you: I will NEVER give up! I have the responsibility of posting every day! That gives me the courage to wake every morning and get going!
If and when I become bed ridden, I will ask Rebecca to post for me. I promise, I will do all I can to keep you informed.
Please say a prayer for the people in Texas! This storm sounds bad.
Peace and Love to all!
Mark

Thursday Morning

Well, guys - last night was not a good one. We had to call in a nurse late last night, as Mark was having some minor seizure activity, and terrific breakthrough pain. He was lethargic and had not eaten all day. He also said he was nauseaed and had been throwing up. The nurse rearranged his meds a little, had him take a little bit higher dosage of the pain meds and had me sit up with him all night, so I could call again if there was any negative changes. He was offered, but declined, a trip to their facility for a 24-hour stay, so they could regulate the meds. All in all, that was a good decision to just stay home. He took medication at 11:00 p.m., and then slept all night. No more seizure signs. I waited this morning until the nurse came back, and we talked a little about possible alternatives to his being home all day alone. We'll have some decisions to make in the next couple of weeks. Stay with us, we need you. NEVER GIVE UP!

Wednesday

Good morning all! I'm feeling good today. Rebecca is doing better. No more watching Fox News for her! Yesterday she joined the Obama Team. Hopefully, it will get her mind off of me and let her vent on something else.
Heavy rains and wind today. There is a big lake in our backyard. We missed a bullet with Hurricane Ike. Thank the Lord.
Today I'm watching the OJ Simpson trial. I am hoping they give him LIFE! One of the few people I truly can't stand.
Have a good day all and please remember that Rebecca and I care deeply for each of you!
Peace and Love
Mark

Rebecca's Tuesday Night

I wanted to leave a little note to all of you faithful readers. I am sorry if my correspondence has been spotty at best with all those I love and hold dear. I read your insightful responses every day and get strength from all of them. This is an especially trying time for me (like it isn't for Mark???) and I am justing shutting down and closing in for a while. I know it probably isn't healthy but I also know that I'll come back out of it and I'll be ok. I treasure all of you and wanted you all to know it. Marie, Bev, Nancy, Allison, Carol, JT, Mike, Monica (I know I'm forgetting somebody important), and all. Keep checking in on us. It means the world. LOVE to you all. NEVER GIVE UP!

Tuesday

Morning all. My Mom, Rebecca and I are in the middle of a fight. Over what you may ask! Meds? Doctors? Chemo? No. My body!!!!
My Mother was the inspiration for the mother in "Everyone Loves Raymond". They did play it down. My Mom, lord love her, is a Black Hole. She can suck all the life force out of a room. Her look can break glass. A typically crazy New York City Jewish Woman. In my opinion, the greatest invention in 10 years is Caller ID.
She wants me buried. I wish to be cremated. So, we had to get a special Video/CD made with a Lawyer. My wife will take care of me. She is my life and whatever is easy and most covenant for her, is what I will do.
It is the pain and pressure that makes it hard for me to stay positive. Mom calls, I get sick. I have some decisions to make and there not going to be pretty.
Any helping ideas would be a blessing.
Peace and Love to all
Mark

Monday

Morning all. Well, Rebecca is happy, the Jets won. She has a football, when squeezed, sings the Jets fight song. As scary as that wall mounted fish singing. Here she is, in front of the TV, her butt in my face singing the fight song along with the football. I was very glad to see her happy.
It looks like Hurricane Ike will pass us too far in the Gulf Sea to worry us. We will get bands of rain and wind, but we will be safe. I believe it will hit somewhere between New Orleans and Houston. Pray for them please!
Tomorrow I have a Chaplin coming to talk to me. She comes on Tuesday's by my request. I have never been a religious man. To start now would be hypocritical and insulting. I do have questions that I need to ask. Not so much about the hereafter, but questions about coping with my last days, knowing what is coming. How to close my eyes and accept my fate. Every one's fate.
Have a blessed day!
Peace and Love to all!
Mark

Sunday

Hi all! I was just checking my 501K. Also known as the Florida Lotto. No luck.
Rebecca just left for lunch with #1 son James. I played sick. I'm not into "foo-foo" food. I like meat on a stick. Nothing fancy.
She's trying to do it fast to come home and watch the Jet game against Miami. She is a die-hard Jet fan. I won't ever go to a game with her. She wears the jersey's, makeup, hats, Jet stickers on her face and even has a big JETS sign on her back window. All good if you lived in New York! Embarrassing. At least she enjoys herself and lets her hair down for a while.
Have a blessed day everyone!
Peace and Love
Mark

Saturday

Morning everyone! Well, Hurricane Ike is closing in. A category 3 or 4. The good news is the graphics show the storm moving a bit more out into the Gulf, the bad news is we are on the East side of the storm. That means heavy rain, wind, floods and power outages. It will be passing us Monday night or early Tuesday morning. Welcome to Florida.
Rebecca is going to get her hair done today. Thank the Lord! I can watch the Miami vs Florida game in peace!
I hope everyone has a blessed weekend! Peace and Love to all! Mark

TGIF

Morning all! Tonight there is a program on at 8 PM EST called Stand Up To Cancer. I hope you all will watch.
It looks like Hurricane Ike is heading towards us. Hospice asked where do I want to go. I told them either Paris or the Greek Isles. I'm staying here with my Dogs and Cat. I get a kick out of watching these idiot news people in there rain slickers outside. Then you look behind them and see some locals walking down the street or surfing. It's so funny!
No more DNC or RNC! I hope everyone votes. Follow your hearts, not the spin and rhetoric.
Enjoy the weekend! Much peace and Love to all!
Mark

Thursday

Good morning all. I am so sick and tired hearing about cancer! To Craig and his Father: my heart and all my prayers are with you! Every time I start to feel a bit better, BOOM! I have lost all of my friends. People I went through chemo with, radiation with and chemo a second time with are gone. Now I'm in Hospice and it's like a replay. Same questions, same answers. I know where this is heading.... and I'm upset about it. Depressed.
I read a report my Doctor wrote to hospice a month ago. It said he felt I would not last another 2 weeks. That is when I decided to go off chemo and just live my life! I have gained 20 pounds and feel better than before. Why? I do not dwell on my cancer! I live my life and not think about tomorrow! Staying positive does work, along with my friends prayers.
I tried watching some of the RNC last night. It was so negative! Nothing, not one word on the economy! Just bash everyone and everything. 2 aspirins and drill baby drill!
The BEST was the Daily Show. Jon Stewart had on Newt Gringrich. Newt says that Sara Palins daughter choose to have the child. Jon said that if her mother was VP, that choice would have been taken away from her! Newt's mouth just opened wide and he said nothing! Ha!
Peace and Love to all! Mark

Wednesday Morning

I am writing today because Mark and I have received yet another "sucker punch to the stomach." We have learned that our son-in-law's father has been diagnosed with lung cancer. Our hearts are so sad. Craig's family is our family and our love pours out to them. It is too early yet to know his treatment options, but it itsn't too early for everybody to add them all to your prayer list. We love you all. Mark will write later in the week. He's awfully depressed today and he apologizes. Peace & Love!

Tuesday

Morning all! And to my right is my kiddie! Abbey. She is the Queen of the house and does not stand for any B/S from the dogs or us. She's a half Persian/ half Siamese cat that does not play well with others. She has one Brown eye and one Blue eye. She likes to be petted at exactly 3 AM and will wake you in case you're asleep. Sometimes we don't see her for days at a time. A very strange cat. She loves mayonnaise. Ha! I love her! As they say:

"Normal is only a setting on your drier."

Love to all

Peace Mark

Labor Day

Hi all - Mark is sleeping a little later this morning. He woke earlier, caught up on the news of both hurricanes and then went back to bed. He has a headache this morning and said he needed a little more sleep. We are thankful that Gustav is not what it could be. The suffering will not be as great for those people who have just begun to recover from Katrina. We have our eyes on Hanna - that looks to be a problem for us later one, albeit not a great one. Harry is doing wonderfully. He got a bath last night. That is is his least favorite thing in the world, but he "endured" it and got two cookies as a reward. He's soft and shiny. I think he actually enjoys it, but just doesn't want us to know. Dixie - the sweetie in the picture above - had her bath on Saturday. Next will be Pepper.

This beauty is Pepper. We have a kittie too, but geez - I don't give her bathes. That would be a really interesting chore. The pet counselor from Hospice sent us some pamphlets and a book in advance of her anticipated visit. All of the materials offer comfort in the process of deciding how we will handle what lies ahead. I think we are handling it all well so far. As Mark said in yesterday's blog entry, he's trying so hard to process the information and still keep a grip on all that we both have to face.

There obviously a great deal happening to us right now. We both feel sometimes like we are swirling around in a vortex that gets stronger with every spin. Only the prayers and support of our loving families and friends keep our head above water for now. I feel like I am getting crushed but I still try to stay focused on being strong for all of us. Hospice is helping a great deal and we made the right decision to bring them in.

Our love to all of you and our return prayers that you all have peace and experience the wonder of life every day, as we do. Please remember to NEVER GIVE UP! Rebecca